Strike First
How Kung Fu helped me build a life of meaning
Sifu Atalick - 9th Generation Master of Seven Star Praying Mantis Kung Fu
Last week I quickly brushed over the misunderstood strike first philosophy of Praying Mantis Kung Fu, and I thought that I may owe a better explanation on this principle, because it’s very important, applicable, and in need of clarification. This principle, as well as every other part of my Kung Fu journey, has completely changed my life for the better.
When I first began to learn Kung Fu and I heard “strike first”, I was quite confused and conflicted. I thought martial arts and self defence was always supposed to be defensive. I don’t want to be an aggressor, a bully. Being bullied was the whole reason I started martial art. Striking first seemed aggressive and destructive. Well of course that’s true, to a point. In a greater context you never start a conflict, you never seek out violence, but if and when violence finds you, you need to be assertive and control the confrontation; this can be done without an actual physical strike. People who are defensive are rarely in control. I eventually learned the wisdom of the strike first principle had less to do with physical combat, and more to do with how we live...like so many other lessons in Kung Fu.
So you don’t think I’m a psycho, let me give you a little more background first on how we teach this to students, so we’re on the same page. We don’t teach people to go knocking people out to prove toughness or defend honour or anything stupid like that. In combat, there are a certain amount of restrictions one must place on themselves before actually striking another person. Even while teaching these restrictions we still screen our students and only accept people that we feel won’t abuse these concepts. The restrictions I’m talking about are:
1 – first rule in any confrontation that is border line physical, you need to walk or run away
2 – you must exhaust all options in trying to verbally deescalate the conflict
3 – the person must be making a very clear intent to do you physical harm (moving toward you with fists clenched after several warnings)
Given this situation when you know a physical attack is impending, you don’t want to wait to see what is going to happen, you want to act, not react. When you act, you force the other person to react to you, and this puts them on the defensive. You then are more likely to be setting the stage for how things will unfold. You are being proactive instead of reactive. There is a lot of technique that corresponds with this that I won’t go into here, but the main lesson is you need to be proactive. This technique applies not only to physical confrontation. It works verbally as well. Try this for fun: Next time a telemarketer calls you for a charity don’t hang up on them if that’s what you normally do (I get a dozen of these every day, and I can’t give all of them, so I usually use the opportunity to practice some verbal jousting) notice they usually ask you 2 questions: Hi is this <your name>? You reply with yes, notice you’re on a defence of sorts. Then they say “How are you doing today?” and you naturally say “fine, how are you?”, and they say “Well I can’t complain, I mean, I could but who would listen, right?” or some other lame joke to gauge whether they can keep you on the defensive, then they launch their endless spiel. You want to be polite so you wait for the gap so you can tell them that you already gave at the office, but the gap doesn’t come, their spiel seems endless. This is where you need to start hitting back. Start by asking a question; and the first one you may need to ask a couple times to break their onslaught...try this
I’m sorry who is this? Have I donated to you before? How many times a year do you call to collect donations?
Any questions will do, but try to keep asking as many as you can to keep them off balance. It will be hard for them to get back on their script. Don’t be rude, be honest, and let them know whether or not you want to contribute to whatever their cause is. The point is that this is a lot like combat. In a conversation, whoever is asking the questions is controlling the conversation. Whoever is throwing the strikes is typically controlling the fight. When someone asks you a question, you have to stop your train of thought and think of the answer, whether you say the answer or not. When someone is preparing an attack and you strike first they have to deal with it and it stops their plan. That doesn’t guarantee you victory but it definitely improves your odds.
This is useful for both physical and verbal exchanges, but the greater lesson is when it is used in life. Striking first, as I said before, is about being proactive. This means that you don’t just wait for things to react to. The majority of society is reactive, and it shows. It shows when you see people are unhappy, they complain, they’re ungrateful, they blame, they expect for bad things to happen, and then lo and behold, they do. These are all signs of being too reactive. You can’t just wait to see what life throws at you, you need to act. Will this guarantee your success? No, just like being proactive in a fight won’t guarantee you won’t get punched in the face, but it will definitely improve your odds. Being proactive in your life is a much higher manifestation of Kung Fu, and with practice, it affects every aspect of living in a very positive way. It starts when you wake up in the morning. Most people wake up and they default into being reactive. They put on the news, or read the paper, or open up their twitter account and they don’t have to wait long for something negative to react to. The news cycle on any given day is 90% negative. There is bound to be something that puts you in a less than stellar mood. This will start a pattern going from one negative reaction to the next. In our Kung Fu programs, when a student starts to learn and internalize a proactive approach they will start to make more beneficial habits. For example, making sure you DO NOT touch your phone when you first wake up, don’t even touch it. Start your day with something that brings you a little joy: your coffee or tea ritual, a list of things you’re grateful for, writing your goals and plans for the day, meditation or prayer, and some light exercise. This may seem tacky unless you’ve actually made a habit of it. If you have made a habit of any of these, you’re probably thinking, yeah, duh. When you start striking first like this when you first wake up you soon realize that this part of the morning is like the rudder that steers the rest of the day. Is this going to guarantee your success? No; just like in combat, there’s a good chance you’re going to get punched in the nose, it’s going to hurt, you’re not going to like it, but if you don’t plan on giving up, it’s going to greatly improve your odds.
If you'd like free lessons that correspond with this philosophy I put together over a week's worth of online lessons you can learn from in the comfort of your home, you can learn and practice without even having to put on pants if you don't want to. Just enter your email address below so I know where to send them. They usually send out bright and early so you can make it part of a fantastic morning routine to proactively start your day.